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My Story

No Right To Harm - Girls Againist Domestic Violence
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My Story
 

This is my story. I was abused at 14 years old and I was one of the luck ones.

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When I was begining my freshman year of high school I devloped a crush on an upper classman. He was a band member, such as I was, and was really nice to me. On several occasions he gave me pep talks before competions and sat by me on the bus. Soon after we met with intervention from a close friend, we went on our first date.
 
Everything went well for the first six months but into the seventh month things changed.Adam* went on a family vacation, I went to a party with some friends. At the party we played games, one of them being truth or dare. As a dare all 10 girls at the party were dared to kiss one of our guy friends. I told Adam* about it that night on the phone and he became furious. He threatened to break up with me. I begged him not to do it. He didnt but when I came to visit him ,when he returned, he was still furious. He backed me up againist the wall and was cursed at me, calling me vulgar names.
 
After that party Adam* became increasingly possesive of my time and began cutting my ties with friends and family.
 

He would tell me that my friends were trying to break us up, that they were saying things about me. He also said that he should've been more inportant than family, friends ,and school. So I believed him and started cutting off ties to my friends. He began telling me that he hated my mother because she was trying to break us up also. By this time he was right because my mother began noticing some things that were inappropriate that I couldn't see. She was right though in the end. She noticed brusies and noticed that he yelled at me several times. As a result I was no longer allowed to do several things with him. I was no longer allowed in the car with him and she also refused to allow me to go to a concert in Nashville with him. This made him furious with her and he argued with her telling her that it was a stupid rule and that I was 15 so I should be able to do what I want.

The fights became increasingly worse. We started fighting daily and the fights became more violent. He would call, yell at me, and then hang up, then start all over again. He would call me stupid and retarted and I started believing him.

Because my mother still refused to allow me in the car alone with him, he would often meet me places then take off, leaving me alone at the movies or restaraunt. This happened prom night also when he left me at his friends house while he went back to his home. I didnt know any one at the house and I was scared to death.

After dating for close to 2 years we broke off the relationship. It was easier than I thought thanks to the help of a close friend. I stayed away for 3 months but gradually through constant contact at school we began talking as "friends". 

We wanted to resume dating. One Sunday, during auditions for a honors band the band traveled to Williamsburg for tryouts. Adam* showed up and waited for me to finish auditions. After I completed my auditon I went outside to return my horn to the bus. Adam* followed me and cornered me at the truck. He refused to let me leave. I told him that the relationship was a bad idea and he was going to end up hitting me, he agreed but went on for 10 more mins. I finally was able to push him away and ran to parents down at the school. One of the parents shelded me from him trying to hit me.

My school was notified by a teacher, parent, and myself but responded "Our school does not have that problem". To this day when you talk to the teachers about him at my school they would tell you what a great guy he is.

After that I began spacing myself from him and tried to stay away as much as possiable. Since that day he has threatened to kill me twice and actually told me that he had hired someone to do it.

I have learned how to move on now. Im a happy teenage once again. I start college this fall and I cant wait to see what else the world has to offer me. I know God had a plan for me and I know that I was meant to work with battered women. It will be a real challenge but I want more than anything to make a difference in young girls lifes. I straightened my life out and I can't wait to see what happens next.

 

* Names have been changed to protect those involved.

ITS NEVER TO LATE TO GET HELP!